Women are dumb enough to vote for Barack Obama. If you are a Man and you are thinking of voting for Barack Obama you need to get a therapist and have him test you to see if you are a retard. You also might find a doctor to make sure you have a XY chromosomes. Barack Obama will throw a monkey wench into your game, he’ll convince women that their opinions and feelings matter.

Meet a typical Barack Obama voter

I meet this hot chick the other day and as she babbled on about how great Barack Obama was and how he was going to bring hope and change back to Washington DC all I could think of (besides how utterly retarded she was) is how I would like to choke her face hole with 10 inches of man sausage so she would shut the hell up. So I told her I was voting for him and that I was his local campaign manager. I asked if she wanted a position on my staff and two hours later as I was leaving her house told her I had 3 more interviews for the position but her name was on the top of the list. She called me 2 days ago and asked about the job so I scheduled a follow up interview and hung up the phone. Woman+Barack Obama voter=stupid.

Saying a woman is stupid is like saying the earth is round. Duh, no sh!t!

When you decide to vote for someone just because he makes you feel good you are either a woman or a retard. Don’t get me wrong if it gets you into the panties tell her you are voting for a unicorn, but for fack’s sake don’t actually go through with it.

Club Single Guys actually think before pulling the lever

We Men are paid to think and in many cases paid to think for women. Single Guys know a bullsh!t artist when they see one and Barack Obama is buried up to the neck. So if you have hair on your chest, (I’m not talking to you Rosie O’donald) find a real Man to vote for or don’t vote at all.

Women I won’t tell you how to vote, most of you won’t shut up long enough to take advice in the first place.

Sometimes women just don’t get it. Jon Lajoie breaks it down for the ladies in his new music video. Why are you still talking ladies?

Club Single Guy proudly presents:

Show Me Your Genitals

Some dumb c*nt named Sarah Lynn commented on my RoseMary Shell post and accused me of plagiarizing Tom Leykis. Here is the comment Sarah “The screech bat” Lynn decided was so insightful that she just had to enlighten us with her dumbness.

If you want to repeat what Tom Leykis says, at least give him credit. (link)

Dear Sarah Lynn, fack off! Tom Leykis is a god among men, but he is not the only man that has original ideas. I don’t know if Tom Leykis said anything about RoseMary Shell, I wasn’t listening. Just like Tom Leykis I am a real man that creates sh!t and makes the world work. Sarah I don’t take my marching orders from Tom Leykis and I have enough original ideas every day that I don’t need to steal ideas from him.

If it wasn’t for men Sarah would not even be able to type her ignorant comments on a keyboard let alone be alive. We all know everything great was made by a man. Sarah Lynn is another reason why I say you should never have a conversation longer than 5 minutes with a woman. Nothing good will come of it and you will most likely loss 10 IQ points from listening to the clueless crap that spews from their face holes.

RoseMary Shell the poster woman for the Single Guy Lifestyle

How many damn times do I have to get on my soap box (made by a man) and tell single guys DON’T GET MARRIED? If you need another reason to back up the fact that marriage should be declared torture and illegal under the Geneva Convention I present you RoseMary Shell.

RoseMary Shell is an over the hill turkey neck that is way past her expiration date. RoseMary Shell was engaged to Wayne Gibbs. Gibbs realized that he was about to marry a golddigging whore and decided to break the fack out.

The only good to come out of this story is that RoseMary Shell’s ex-fiance Wayne Gibbs grew a set and drop kicked this bitch through the uprights. In typical gold digger fashion RoseMary “Turkey Necked Gold Digger” Shell showed her true colors. Rosemary decided to get a lawyer and sue Gibbs because he avoided her trap. A jury awarded RoseMary $150,000, are you f-in serious, yeah I’m f-in serious read the news story here.

Here is video of wrinkled old broad RoseMary Shell whining about how worthless Gibbs made her feel.

Dear Wayne Gibbs, I know you might feel like you just took a 9 iron to the junk, but I assure you that $150,000 is a small price to pay to eject this skanky beoch to the curb.

Why is divorce so expensive?

Do you know why divorce is so expensive? For the same reason a brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle costs so much, because its worth every penny. Divorce though is nothing like a new Harley, after a divorce you don’t get to ride your ex anymore.

Next time you are thinking about getting married slug yourself in the nuts, go to your nearest Harley Davidson World, by the most expensive motorcycle they have, ride up to a group of smokin hot single girls and ask who wants a ride. If your lucky you can give them a ride on your Harley back to your place and then they’ll ride you and get the hell out, much cheaper than a divorce and a hell of a lot less expensive.

Harley Davidson Fat Boy - better than marriage!

Wouldn’t you rather have the motorcycle then wake up next the wrinkled up sack of shat.

You got his money RoseMary Shell (until Gibbs wins his appeal) hopefully Mr. Gibbs learned from this experience and starts living the Club Single Guy Lifestyle. Younger chicks are much better in the sack and you don’t have to pay for the cow while getting to shoot your milk all over their face.

Nothing is sexier than hot 18 year old chicks, except if they are nude, bringing you a beer, ironing your shirt, or their profession is pole vaulting. Allison Stokke could bring me a beer and vault onto my pole any day. All that pole vaulting keeps Allison fit, in shape, and completely doable. Hey all you married guys, see what your missing out on?

I’d tell you more about Allison Stokke but you don’t really care you’re a Man you just want to see the pictures. Here is our first Club Single Guy Doable Babe - Allison Stokke.

The last picture is of Allison Stokke and her Hot Asian Doable pole vaulting friend Lyndley Tamura. They could both both make a Club Single Guy happy for a night.

My daddy used to say, “Never trust a man that doesn’t cuss or drink beer.” Here’s some Man math: Men+Beer+TV=Beer Commercials. Some of the best and Manliest TV I have ever watched has been beer commercials. Just about the only commercials worth watching are beer commercials. I was f-in around at Digg today and came across 8 Awesome Beer Commercials and why we love them. The only thing that could make these beer commercials better is if when the commercial was over a hot chick mashed her tits up against the camera. Here are 8 Mantastic beer commercials for you Club Single Guy pleasure.

8. Real Men Of Genius - Silent Killer Gas Passer

Nothings funnier than crop dusting.

7. Can I get another Beer Bitch? (Bierbitzch)

To tell you the truth I would have drop kicked that beer bitch if she would have slapped me.

6. Wedding Reception (Budlight)

Now that the wedding is over time to bang the bridesmaids.

5. Foreplay (Fosters)

This man earns 100 Man points. The game is on we can do it later.

4. Psycho Ex Girlfriend (Brahma)

Women love vodoo and all kinds of new age magic shat. They think its real, just like unicorns. Thank God beer can counteract the effects of a psycho ex.

3. Beer better than a Hot Chick at the Pool (Hahn)

200 point increase to the Man Score with an extra 50 points for difficulty. That’s the second best way to get a woman wet.

2. Skinny Dipping (Budlight)

I’ll tell you what can make the night better, 50 naked girls in a swimming pool.

1. And my favorite Beer commercial (Hahn)

2 things I’ve always wanted to do cannon ball into a hot tube with a hot chick and fart in a strippers face. This commercial fulfills one dream.

Got any other favorite beer commercials? Leave a comment and the link and I’ll add them to this post.

The best barometer of goldigger/wife and whether you should get married (you shouldn’t) is how big of a wedding she wants. You (and by you I mean Men) could give a crap about your wedding. Men are more concerned with the strippers at the bachelor party and the honeymoon. If your future shirt ironer wants a big wedding run for your life and “DUMP THAT BITCH” before you find out what divorce will do to your bank account.

When a woman wants a big wedding, which means a wedding that costs more than the license, rings, blood test, and tip to for the judge, she is basically telling you she is going to make you pay for the rest of your life. The next year or two of your marriage might be great but then starts the quick downhill tumble that ends in a fiery explosion and you (once again single) without a pot to piss in or the window of the house you paid for to throw it out.

Women have no idea how to make money, that’s what they get men for. A women thinks there is some value in spending the cost of a new Harley Davidson Fatboy on a one day event so that she will feel like the most important person in the world. Problem is when that day is over she longs to feel like that Disney princess again, however you (the husband) now have $25,000 in credit card bills and she can’t really marry you twice. The only way to get all the attention she got on her wedding day back is for her to dump your ass and marry her next prince charming victim.

What Men get out of a big wedding

Take a look at the picture on the right. Nice assets. Well guess what buddy? You will never get anything like that ever again if you marry the Bridezilla bitch. Want to know what you will get out of a big wedding?

8 things a Man gets out of a big wedding

• 1. nothing
• 2 .nothing
• 3. some more nothing
• 4. and extra helping of nothing
• 5. $15,000 to $25,000 dollars worth of extra work to pay the wedding bills
• 6. to sleep with one woman until she cuts you off or leaves you
• 7. reduction of 1000 points to your Man Score
• 8. 3 BILLION less vaginas for you to pound

That is what you get.

Did you read that last one. There are 6,711,986,352 people on the earth at least half of them are women. That means that you could be living the Club Single Guy lifestyle with your choice of hot women to satisfy your needs, but you Mr. smart guy decided to pick one woman that will only get older, uglier, fatter, dumber, and bitcher as you get poorer, smarter, and better looking. Hell my next wife was probably watching Sesame street this morning. What the hell are you thinking?

Manclusion

Don’t ever get married, but if you do, refuse to pay anymore than a 2 week paycheck on the wedding. If your future x-wife doesn’t like that and thinks your a cheap bastard do her a favor and bone her hot best friend. You won’t have to go through the pain of a divorce and her best friend is hot and somebody needs to break her over like a shotgun. Everybody wins.

Women LOVE to think they are being cheated on. I know you might be thinking, what the $#@% is this guy talking about, but its a fact most women love imagining they are being cheated on. Nothing snaps an uncaring, selfish girlfriend/wife to attention faster than believing her Man is getting it on with a younger, hotter, and hornier girl than her.

Club Single Guy Disclaimer - First off let me just say this for the record. YOU SHOULD NOT CHEAT on your girlfriend/wife. You shouldn’t have a girlfriend/wife in the first place, however if you do, DO NOT CHEAT on them. Your girlfriend/wife should only believe you might be cheating on her you shouldn’t actually do it. More about that later.

What women might do when they think you have cheated on them

When a woman thinks you might be cheating on her, her first reaction is to go completely ape $#@%, throw all your stuff out of the house, yell at you, and try to make you feel as worthless as she is. She wants you to think she has a backbone, that you will be losing a great thing, and that you cannot treat her like that. What she is really doing is trying to convince you and her friends (women spend most of their time worrying about what other people think about them) that she is somehow better than you and Hillary Clinton. Don’t fall for this horsehockey.

How a Man deals with being accused of cheating

You have several choices on what to do when confronted by a spurned girlfriend/wife that thinks you might have cheated on her.

• Say, “I don’t know what your talking about, is this a PMS thing?” - Make it sound like you are completely innocent (which you should be) and that she is the one with the problem not you. Problem with this approach is you are now involved in a conversation with her. You should try to avoid conversations with women that go on longer than 5 minutes. There are guy things going on in the world and your sanity might be compromised by listening to the stupidity coming out of her face hole.
• Say, “It wasn’t me.” and walk away - Now she has to think of ways to prove that her accusations are correct and that she is not crazy (she probably is crazy so this will really baffle her.) Make sure you walk away quickly before she can spew her next barrage of ignorant babbling.
• Walk over to the fridge, get a beer, sit down on the couch, and turn on ESPN - This will completely blow her little mind. She will do everything under the sun to try to get your attention at this point. Try to ignore her by not saying anything. If she blocks the TV tell her to move so you don’t miss the score for the game.

If she insists on continuing the confrontation at this point here is what you should say,

Why would I cheat on you?

You have to say this with a straight face and firmly. You have just put the ball in her court and now she will usually start thinking of all of her imperfections and inadequacies. You have her right where you want her.

At this point the conversation should be about over. She will usually start asking questions to rebuild her confidence and self esteem.

Questions she might ask

• “Do you still think I’m beautiful?” - Time for one of my favorite backhanded compliments, say,”Of course! Some people might not think you are beautiful, but I do.” This statement works wonders. You have just made her think that there are other people that don’t like the way she looks but not you. You look like a hero, other people look like zeros.
• “You would tell me if you were thinking about cheating, wouldn’t you?” - This question is a trap so never answer this question directly. Your response might go as follows. “That’s just silly. I know there are millions of guys out there that cheat on their girlfriend/wife I don’t want to be like them. Real Men like me wouldn’t even think about doing that.” You are of course thinking about cheating on her, Men think about cheating all the time (most Men just don’t do it, if you want to sleep with a different girl every week then breakup or divorce and live the single guy lifestyle.)

Why women love to think they are being cheated on

Women live in their own little made up fantasy worlds. Women love drama, bad guys, and unicorns. Who really knows what goes on in their screwed up heads. They don’t even know why they are the way they are. Don’t spend any of your Mantelligence trying to figure out what women are thinking, its like trying to have a conversation with a rock.

Women like competition. Every relationship I have had with a woman eventually came to a point when the woman believed (falsely) that she had me wrapped around her little finger. That is when they start F-ing up. They start ignoring their Man’s needs, stop caring as much about how they look, start demanding you do an equal amount of the house work, and stop having sex with you on a regular basis.

I discovered that when a women thinks that their might be another woman in the picture she starts trying harder to keep her man. She starts dressing up more, cooks more, cleans more, does the dishes herself, irons your shirt, and suddenly becomes a freak in the bedroom that can’t get enough of you. If your girlfriend/wife is not acting the way a real woman should (house work, feeding you, and meeting your needs) try making her think that some other hotter and younger girls think you are the MAN and that she had better get her @#$% together or she might just loss you.

How to make a woman think you might be cheating on her

• Start working out - She’ll wonder why you all the sudden took up an interest in getting in shape.
• When she calls tell her you are busy and you will call her back in 30 minutes, then call her back in an hour - She’ll wonder what (or who) were doing that is more important than talking about how she is having a bad day.
• Work longer hours and come home late - Working longer hours is a Man thing to do. You make more money and she starts to wonder if the receptionist is dicktating more than just letters.
• By a motorcycle or a Manly new car - Women love a Man on a motorcycle or driving a brand new car.
• Stop talking to her - If you have to talk to her then grunt and make caveman noises. Try to answer all of her questions with one word answers and act like she is bugging you. Do not let her drag you into a conversation, if she doesn’t get the hint that you have better things to do, look down at your cell phone and tell her, “Can we talk about this later, I’m late.” and walk out of the house and go to your friends house or a sports bar for a while.
• Let her catch you reading ClubSingleGuy.com - She will think that you are thinking about being single. Girlfriends/wives will see the title Club Single Guy and they start thinking bad thoughts unless they are really hot girls with their @#$% together then they will start trying to sleep with guys on the site.

Let your woman think you might be cheating on her, she’ll love you more for it (if you know what I mean.)

How did your woman react better when she thought you might be cheating on her?

One of my favorite comedians, all around Man, and friend on MySpace Joe Rogan just put out a clip of one of his stand up comedy shows that I think is Manrrific. Check it out.

Joe Rogan - Video - Making Love

"Making Love"

No statement in the history of Man has been more factually incorrect than, “The customer is always right.” In fact a woman probably was the first person to have said something so utterly stupid. If the customer had any idea what was right or what exactly it was that they needed or wanted they would have invented the product, did the work themselves, or owned the company where the product was made.

The customer is their own worst enemy

I was a professional car audio installer for most of my life. Notice I said was. I probably would still be a car stereo installer if it were not for one thing, Cheap dumb customers.

When I started installing it cost $34.99 plus installation kit and wiring harness to install a car stereo. About 50% of customers thought $34.99 was to much money to spend having a $500 radio installed in their car. They would buy the radio, the kit, and the wiring harness and leave the store saying they would install it themselves or that they had a friend that would install it for them.

Here is what a self install or an installation done by a friend looks like.

2 to 3 days later 99% of those cheap bastards would be back expecting us to fix their f-d up install for the $34.99 we quoted them in the first place.

I would pull the car into the installation bay, sniff the magic burnt electronics smell in their car, notice the installation kit was broken, and discover the dashboard had been broken or scratched. Then I would head back to the front of the store and inform the salesMan that they would need a new radio (that had not been fried), a new installation kit (that was not broke), and if the customer would like their dashboard to look like it did 2 to 3 days ago I would need to order a new dash piece from the car lot. New cost, $500 radio, $29.99 dash kit, $300 factory dash board piece, and $100 installation charge leaving a grand total of $929.99.

The customer would have this look on their face like you just pissed on their leg. Then their demeanor would change to disbelief then quickly changing to rage and accusing you of trying to screw them. They could never admit that the were wrong for thinking that a trained monkey such as themselves did not have any idea how to install their own stereo and that they were responsible for destroying their new radio and car. They would leave the store and say they were never coming back and that they were calling the better business bureau.

We new this was bullshat and like clock work 2 to 3 days later the customer was back (after they called the dealership and found out that the dashboard would in fact be $300 for a new one and that they would charge $1,500 to install the radio.) I would install the radio show the customer how to set the clock and use their new radio and they would be on their way. Those were the good old days of car stereo installation. Soon the cheap bastard customers of the world devised a new strategy of believing they got something for nothing.

The end of the professional car audio installer

One day I got to work and was informed of some price changes to radio installations. All radios that were purchased at our store were now “FREE”, the radio kit price had increased by $10, the wiring kit was now $7.99 more, and all radios had gone up $20 in price. Do the math (if you are a Man) you’ll realize the price to get a “FREE” radio install has just went up $3. Customers being as wrong and cheap as they are were convinced that since the installation was “FREE” they were getting something for nothing.

I made a huge stink about the new policy and told the owner that if he kept this up I would quit and take most of the installers with me. He assured me that I was still getting paid the same to install a radio the money was coming from the price increases to pay for the installation. I informed him that he was right about the pay, what my problem was is that they (the owner and the customer) just devalued my job (car audio installer) to something that was not worth paying for. I assured him that it would not be long before customers were demanding all installations be “FREE” and that every other install shop in town would follow suit and before you knew it the quality of installation and installers would be that of carnival workers.

It didn’t take long before customers were demanding that if radio installs were “FREE” why did they have to pay for amplifier installs, speaker installs, and all other installs. Once you give a dog a bone you can’t take it back unless you want your hand ripped off by a crazy mutt. Soon most installs were “FREE” and customers started treating the installer like waitresses that brought them a well done steak that was still bleeding. Installers paychecks began to slowly go south like a bird with one wing.

You get what you pay for, and if you didn’t pay you get Jack and shit

Installers started leaving like a prostitute after the 30 minutes were up. For the few installers that stayed they were usually pot heads and convicted felons that could not get another job. Before I quit I was getting paid to fix all the mistakes that the inept installers were making because there is little pride for doing a job that everyone expects to be done for “FREE”. The once professional profession of car audio installation soon became what it was worth in a customers eyes, “FREE”. “FREE” of any talent, “FREE” of any pride in a job well done, and “FREE” of any give a craps about the customer. You get what you pay for and when you are not paying for your installation you get a stoned pedophile sniffing the seat of your car and going through your glove box to find your address.

I decided to leave car audio installation and get a job in home audio which didn’t take long before dumb customers started demanding “FREE” installation. DirecTV hammered the final nail into my home audio installer career by offering a 4 room DirecTV install for you guessed it “FREE”.

So what have we learned

Well if you are a Man you probably already knew that nothing in life is “FREE”. If you are a woman and actually read this far chances are you are pissed at me for telling the truth about your lifelong dream, to get everything for “FREE”.

Customers are rarely right and usually besides being cheap bastards, end up shooting themselves in the foot.