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What the @%$# is wrong with Men that shave their chests? Real Men have hair on their chests. I’ll concede some Men look like An American Werewolf In London, but unless you look like a yeti why are you shaving your chest?

• But women like a smooth hairless chest - Then tell them to become muff munchers, most chicks don’t have hair on their sweater puppies while real Men have grass on the field. Besides who gives a squirrel toot about what a woman likes? Women don’t even know what women want. You know what a woman really likes? Getting drilled by a real Man, a real Man that is not ashamed of his big manly hairy chest.
• I’m a swimmer and shaving my chest makes me more aerodynamic - First off Greg Louganis are you straight? No, if you are a shaven swimmer you’re most likely into guys. Nothing wrong with being a Greg Louganis, I’m talking about real Men, straight men. I swim too. I swim for fun and to check out hotties in bikinis. I don’t give an owl turd about swimming faster than a chick (I’d rather be behind them if you know what I mean.)
• But I’m as hairy as a grizzly bear - Ever heard of a beard trimmer? Never ever shave all your chest hair, but if your chest looks like a hippy chicks underarms maybe its time to break out the weed wacker for a minor trim.
• I’m an Indian/Asian/etc. and I don’t have hair on my chest - Maybe its time to look into getting a chest toupee. Seriously I understand that some mean don’t grow chest hair. Nothing wrong with that it is natural what I am talking about is Nancy boys that go out of their way to shave their chest.
• I’m a body builder and I have to shave my chest to compete - This might be the only gray area. If the competition rules you must shave your chest then ok. The rule is f-ing stupid, but until they change if you want to win you gotta play by the rules.

If you need another reason to not shave your chest watch this.

Once I shaved my chest, I spent the next week scratching and plucking ingrown hairs. My chest was only smooth for two days and I spent those two days wondering what the hell I had been thinking. If you shave your chest because a woman wants you to, sack up, go get your balls out of her purse, and tell her to shave her legs and armpits and leave a real Man alone.